And obviously nobody who has ever done any of these things has ever been a baby, either. They are completely unnecessary stages in growth, as any and all people in the world that you have ever conversed with or heard of or seen sprung into being as an adult, fully formed and capable of doing anything that these babies, god forbid, must be taught.

It’s a mite difficult to put into words why it’s annoying that people hate babies, and that’s because people who hate babies are usually incredibly stupid. It’s about as stupid as saying “Gosh, I love trees, but fuck saplings. Saplings are stupid, they get in the way, and they’re so useless! You can’t climb a sapling, and they can’t be used to make things either! Saplings should just get out of the way for trees.”

1.  Fuck your entire face.

2.  A sapling is useful as shit.  It keeps dirt in place so it doesn’t mudslide all over your dumb ass.

3.  A sapling’s needs are fucking basic.  Mama tree just drops her shit all over the ground and the baby trees do their own thing.  They don’t need anyone to coddle them.  Your metaphor is shit.

4.  If you love those tiny fuckers so much, stay the fuck away from a tumblr called “Fuck Your Dumb Baby.”  This shit is not relevant to your interests.  It’s not rocket science.  Don’t call me stupid.  I stay the fuck away from shit like ilovejustinbieber.com because I hate his annoying ass.